You may need to plan ahead to manage your triggers if you do attend an eating event (i.e., tell people that you are following a specific food plan and that you need their support to stick with it). This may mean that you can no longer go to your favourite buffet or a late-night dinner party. We call this attending to the cues of people, places and things. Remember how hard it was to quit smoking when everyone else smoked and offered you a cigarette? Now, that there are fewer smokers, people are finding it easier to stop and stay stopped. I tell all my patients, food, alcohol or cocaine addicted, you must control your social environment if you want to achieve contented sobriety. One addiction tool that honors the biological imperative to be socially congruent is simply to accept this reality. It is an inevitable response to wanting to be a peace with your fellow humans.
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While it is possible to hold your ground in the short term, the trial and tension of withstanding an unpopular or unusual position can be very stressful, and it is not a sign of weakness if you give in to social or peer pressures. We need social approval to feel comfortable and safe. How many times have I heard a person who has relapsed say that they could not refuse the family member who said, “Just have one cookie”, or subtle criticisms such as “you are still following that diet?” If your friends, family and external environment do not support your sobriety by helping you to avoid triggering people, places and circumstances, chances are they are supporting the grounds for your relapse. What a great question! The top offenders for any relapse are:ġ) The addicted mind, which will badger the user into using (sometimes for pleasure or comfort, but also, if the addiction is advanced enough, just to keep the mental chatter down).Ģ) The social support system. Do you have any advice for people to deal with the social aspects of recovery? If I could do it all over again, I would have just put my head down and shut my mouth about what and why I was eating, because then I wouldn’t feel the shame of failure I do now.
Some were supportive and others were not, but I was comfortable and happy.įast forward several months and I have relapsed and am now very afraid to dive head first into abstinence again with all the “I told you so” attitudes I will get from the people around me. Everything was great, and I was very open about what I was doing with family and friends and co-workers. Q1: I convinced myself that I have a food addiction problem and went abstinent from sugar and flour for almost five months. Vera Tarman, a food addictions specialist and author of the book Food Junkies, answers more of your questions in the latest installment of our popular series. Read Part 1 of Dr.
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